How To De-Stupidize Windows Vista
Anybody who's been a faithful XP user has known the agony of having had to 'upgrade' to Windows Vista. I can hear the pain and remorse in your screams as you wait twice as long for files to transfer to your jump drive. I can feel the removal of follicles from your head as you tear your hair and confirm that 'YES, YOU REALLY REALLY WANNA OPEN YOUR PROGRAM!'
Microsoft has presumably saved us from this crucible of kludgitude by providing Windows 7. I've not tried the new operating system on a full-time basis yet, but those I've spoken with seem to confirm that it is what Vista should have been.
But, for those poor unfortunate souls whose computers broke down during the Dark Years of Windows Software Development, I have three simple but effective steps for helping to fix your Vista experience. It won't take away all the headaches (some are just too deeply embedded to be truly fixable), but it'll ease the more annoying and persistent problems.
User Account Control
The first is something I firmly believe every Vista user should do. Whenever you go to install a program, open a program on a disc, modify any system settings, or do something any more advanced than opening your browser to microsoft.com, Vista will pop up with a gloomy darkening of the screen and a dialog. This dialog will utter something to the effect of "This might be bad stuff. Are you really really sure you wanna do this?" And 99.9% of the time, you will sigh and say, 'yeeees...' This schoolmarmesque hand-holding is called User Account Control. Disable it at all costs. Here's how:
- Make sure your account is set up as an Administrator account. If it's the only account on your computer, it probably already is. Go to Start - All Programs - Accessories - System Tools - Control Panel.
- Click User Accounts and Family Safety.
- Click User Accounts.
- Click Turn User Account Control On Or Off.
- Uncheck the box and click Okay. Vista will probably tell you you need to restart. Let it.
- Enjoy a nag-free Vista!
Data Execution Prevention
The second little tip is probably only necessary if you're trying to run old XP programs and games on your Vista machine. It is a little bit more risky than turning off User Account Control, so make extra-special-sure you have a good antivirus program on your computer before you attempts this. I use Norton Antivirus, myself, and have never had a problem with it. This second tweak is the disabling of Vista's Data Execution Prevention. As if asking us if we're really sure isn't enough, sometimes Vista's DEP will block a program anyway, because it gets the funny idea that it is unsafe. Once again, I've experienced this most commonly when trying to run older software from CD. Here are the steps to get rid of it:
- Make sure your account is set up as an Administrator account. If it's the only account on your computer, it probably already is. Go to Start, right-click on Computer, and click Properties.
- Go to the Advanced tab.
- Under Performance, click the Settings button.
- Click on the Data Execution Prevention tab.
- Select 'Turn on DEP for essential Windows programs and services only' and click OK. Vista will probably tell you you need to restart. Let it.
- Insert your disc, install your game, and run it, too! Oh, the novelty!!
Windows Updater
Tip Number Three may or may not be a problem for you. Windows will sometimes bug and annoy you with updates to your computer. Most of the time, this is because you have the option enabled that Vista should tell you everything about the updates it wants to do. This isn't strictly necessary, so I'll show you how to tell Vista to figure it out for itself.
- Make sure your account is set up as an Administrator account. If it's the only account on your computer, it probably already is. Go to Start - All Programs - Accessories - System Tools - Control Panel.
- Click on System and Maintenance.
- Underneath Windows Update, click on 'Turn automatic updating on or off'.
- Under the Important Updates heading, click the drop down box, and select either 'install updates automatically' or 'never check for updates'. The first is alright if you have a good Net connection, but it will probably still bug you to restart your computer every so often. The latter is better if you're on a slow connection and don't want it bogged down. Vista will probably complain at you from the taskbar.
- Enjoy a little less hounding.
I hope this helps a little in making your Vista computer feel a little less like the Gestapo. Take heart! In five or six years, Windows Vista will be but an unhappy memory chewing at the corners of our remembrance.
